
I grew up in Shaker Heights.
I lived the first 18 years of my life in this beautiful suburb of Cleveland, Ohio, which is largely isolated from real world problems.
In Congress, people refer to Senate staffers as ‘Senate snobs’ — because they think (rightly) that the Senate is better than the House.
Shaker is pretty much the same way, except “the House” is every other city in the Cleveland area.
Cleveland Heights? Inferior. Warrensville / Highland Hills? Home of abandoned things and hotels where people get murdered. Beachwood, University Heights? Their homes aren’t as nice as Shaker’s. The west side? Let’s not even go there. In the mind of a Shakerite, Shaker always = better.
This is kind of the mindset that Shaker Heights produces. “Shaker Heights is special.” And if you’re from Shaker, guess what, you’re special too.
If you want to understand the civic ethos of Shaker Heights, watch How I Met Your Mother and observe Ted Mosby.

In the show, Ted is from Shaker Heights, and this is because one of the show’s main writers is from Shaker Heights.
Mostly apolitical, but definitely liberal, Ted is an idealist, and is afflicted with making socially awkward romantic gestures (the kind that would go over well in Shaker, but poorly everywhere else.) He also likes drugs, er, or “sandwiches” as the show describes marijuana, has odd and kooky liberal parents who are divorced, and he never seems to worry about money. In short, Ted largely epitomizes Shaker Heights.
Did I mention Shaker Heights is liberal? Like really, really liberal? I often wonder why Shaker’s sports color is red. Most people who meet me and know of Shaker Heights are really sort of surprised to realize that Conservatives live there.
To my knowledge, there were four households (out of about 40) on my street that were Conservative, and one of them (my former neighbors) was a household divided that had both Bush and Gore yard signs. Shaker’s conservatives largely keep quiet, though, putting up Republican yard signs is an easy way to get it stolen, or your house egged. So much for tolerance!
The land Shaker Heights was built on was an old Shaker religious settlement. The Shakers were a weird religious group that didn’t believe in sex, and not surprisingly, they died off. Naturally, to survive, they served as religious sort of adoption service, bringing in new members through adoption and focusing their sexual frustration on making really nice furniture.
Everybody knows the Van Sweringen name in Shaker. But, BUT! Did you know the Van Sweringens were evil corporate fat cats who speculated on land? Well, that’s what you might think of the Van Sweringens today if you hold typical Shaker views, and that’s what bothers me. People who don’t know their past.
To me, it’s pretty darn ironic that Shaker Heights was founded by a corporation that focused on land speculation. Hard to believe that a city where government and government intervention can rarely do wrong was founded not by government, but by “evil” speculators.
Even what is now part of the government-run Regional Transit System (RTA) started out as a private entity as part of Shaker Village. Private corporate fat cat speculators did this! The horror!
A co-worker once asked me: “Why are there so many Shaker people in DC?” I responded:
Because they like telling other people how to live their lives.
This is where I think Shaker fails its youth, failing to teach them the true origins of the city, which were investment, risk, and reward. The Van Sweringens had to do things to please consumers and attract their money. Strange how the market works that way.
But Shaker has diverged wildly from its humble origins into a town that loves telling people how to live. The Shaker Heights zoning code and housing laws are over 286 pages long. They outline everything from the basics to what colors you can paint your house, what types of shingles you can use your roof, what kind of fences or walls your property can have, and even what kinds of railings your balcony can have.
Shaker’s zoning code is but one example where they’ve surpassed reasonable policies and gone crazy with regulation. It keeps property values high, for sure, but it also keeps living expensive, and it keeps poverty largely outside of Shaker.
Shaker Heights is regarded by many as one of the most successful planned cities in American history. However, few ever focus on what it has become, and what trade offs were made (knowingly or unknowingly) to achieve that status. Keep in mind, it started much like a McMansion community — private developers speculating on the land, investing in building it up, and selling plots. Not all too different than Home Owners Associations today, but on a city-wide scale.
A town filled to the brim with wealthy class warfare warriors and an civic ethos that largely dislikes free enterprise (unless it’s “local” and something they approve of!) was founded by the types of people today they would despise. Today, Shaker is mostly lawyers, doctors and academics — not so much a town filled with business folk. This explains a lot.
If you don’t think Shaker is a hotbed of free enterprise skeptics and regulatory zealots, consider this: When McDonald’s wanted to build a location in Shaker, a group of local mothers formed “Mothers Against McDonald’s.” The Wendy’s in town, however, is totally fine.
And remember when Office Max got bought out by Boise? Their headquarters left Shaker Heights for the third least friendly state for business in the country: Illinois. Ouch. (It could be due to many factors, but Shaker’s extremely high property taxes and restrictive zoning laws hurt too.)
Criticizing Shaker Heights is like speaking ill of the party leadership in Communist Russia. It’s verboten. But as I go back, I see Shaker suffering economically. And while its storefronts are looking increasingly like Randall Park Mall, it’s not just because of the economic downturn.
In my opinion, it’s because Shaker largely doesn’t want the business, tax revenue or jobs that certain businesses, like McDonald’s, would bring. And while it’s fine for cities to pursue dumb policies like that, they’re still dumb policies.
Shaker Heights could use a McDonald’s. Or a White Castle. It could also use a dose of the real world problems (like poverty, which its policies effectively force out) and businesses that are normal just about everywhere but Shaker Heights.
Sadly, Shaker Heights doesn’t want that. It would prefer vacant storefronts and rose colored glasses for all.