JimSwift.net

One of the drawbacks about working on the Hill is that there usually aren’t many foodtrucks within a short walk of your office. Not so much now that I’m in NOMA. Foodtrucks are there most days, so I figured I would review them when I eat there.

I love food trucks. I think they’re mobile ambassadors of capitalism. Naturally, brick and mortars hate them like brick and mortar retailers hated amazon and ebay. Entrenched interests usually are resistant to economic evolution, often at the expense of consumer choice. Which is why I am very much pro food truck.

Today I went to Liberty Chicken and Gyro. I think I was one  of the day’s first customers. I spoke with the operator and (presumably) his wife. They were very nice. I asked if they had a twitter account I could follow, and he said “not yet.” For now, they only accept cash.

Their menu offers six choices (as depicted above) as well as one or two rotating items that are posted in the window. I ordered the #6, combo over rice. They also offer a pretty standard pop lineup.

To be fair, I asked for no rabbit food (lettuce, tomatoes, onions) and no white sauce. I got hot sauce instead. If you go there, don’t worry, they’ll hook you up with authentic fare. Combos are $7.99 or $5.99, depending on which one you order.

I give this truck three and a half stars, a very good rating. It’d get four if it took credit cards and was easier to follow.

A reader of this blog corresponds with Queen Noble, perennial candidate for office. She ran against Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton.

According to my source, he was interested in interviewing her for a DC-based blog on her recent loss in the Libertarian Party primary (OH-1). Rather than respond, she sent the document below.

(I’ve redcated with black ink the cuss words, which you can guess contextually.)

[scribd id=87990730 key=key-1mi2xcppj5xua8m1gvyu mode=list]

Odds are, Washingtonians, you recognize these boxes from Metro. But what are they?

ETEC stands for Emergency Tunnel Evacuation Carts — and these are the storage cabinets where they are kept.

WMATA describes them as follows:

To reach most Emergency Tunnel Evacuation Carts, Fire/Rescue personnel must walk the narrow walkways leading from the ends of station platforms to ancillary rooms situated inside the tunnels. This can be time consuming and can impede Fire/Rescue personnel carrying heavy equipment and supplies from reaching an emergency scene, and, consequently, from moving injured patrons and employees to safety. By relocating all ETEC carts and their protective cabinets to the ends of the platforms, Fire/Rescue services can find the ETEC’s faster, and have more workspace (on the platform) to handle the ETEC, and move it onto the rails where they can load it with equipment and supplies. The results of this effort will be the standardization of ETEC storage locations throughout the Metrorail System. Estimated cost (in 2009 dollars) for a new ETEC is $800. The estimated cost (in 2009 dollars) to procure and install ETEC lockers in stations is $6,000 per locker.

Why we need to spend $6,000 on lockers for an $800 cart is beyond me. Metro Stations have ample storage space near the operator’s booth where the bathrooms are. The “narrow” rooms at the end of the platforms seem fine to me too. I’m not saying relocate the ones we’ve already wasted money on, just don’t waste money relocating them if we have them. (If we don’t, come up with a more cost effective storage plan.)

I think we can safely assume we don’t actually need lockers at 7.5 times the cost of the actual device. It’s not like ETEC Carts are guns that need to be locked up safely.

I wonder if unionized labor has anything to do with high installation costs. One wonders.

Either way, given WMATA’s financial woes, this seems like a really big waste of money.

UPDATE: Twitter user Metro Rider shares this look into an ETEC locker.

I have a confession to make: I love tourists.

In a town with about as low of an approval rating (collectively) as the Transportation Safety Administration, it comes as no surprise that most people in Washington hate tourists. DCists mutter under their breath how much they hate these “real Americans” mucking up their commute pretty much on a daily basis.

Golly, if only they were seasoned train riders of a taxpayer-funded fiscal black hole of a debacle just like WMATA, DCists could get to the business of mis-running the country on time!

Why do I love tourists? Well, I used to be one:

The author (right) with his sister Betsy in 1994 on Metro (Reagan Airport). Betsy also resides in the greater Washington area.

Most people who come to D.C. come from somewhere.

Unlike the picture suggests, I came here from Ohio by way of Missouri — not Michigan. My thrifty parents (both Ohio State grads) were OK violating Ohio social mores putting us in Michigan gear because these sweatshirts were about $2 a piece at TJMAXX. (Yes, my Mom is a Maxxanista.)

While tourists and visitors getting in the way can turn any normal Washingtonian into an obscenity-spouting hater over time, there is another aspect here that is rarely touched upon:

Many people in Washington, D.C. are just snobby know-it-alls who hate outsiders. 

If you disagree with my assessment (while I normally support a free and open debate on my blog) I’ll just say this: you’re wrong.

But, the sad fact remains that people visiting are not really good at grasping the metro madness. They stand on the left, refuse to move, crowd the escalators up at rush hour with strollers. You name it, I’m sure it happens 100 times a day on the system. And even if these people are from other places that have trains (Chicago, New York, even Cleveland) they still can’t ride the metro correctly “our way.”

It is an inconvenience to us that work and live in this city, sure, to deal with folks who can’t follow our metro etiquette.

It’s probably pretty disconcerting for people bringing their young ones to tour the nation’s capital. Imagine coming from a rural place like Springfield, Missouri. You get on the escalator and your stroller takes up all of the space and some kid in a suit shouts up telling people to get a move on. That is probably pretty intimidating.

I don’t expect that many tourists enjoy the awkwardness of being a square cog in a round system. So I have a solution:

Make tourists and non-residents use a special gate.

Since residents of D.C., Maryland, and Virginia all pay taxes that go to fund WMATA (as well as fares, and some federal taxes that get diverted) — we should come up with a special SmartTrip card that goes to all tax-paying residents of the two States and the District. Any non-residents will have to use the non-resident gate, and pay a slightly higher fare.

This will also help ensure that people comply with local residency requirements and deter them from fraudulently keeping their residency back in their former home State. One person each gets a special card (presumably from their DMV, which is tied to their Driver’s License or State ID card) and could have the option of purchasing extras for guests (for a price, of course.)

I figure that this will have costs, but the entrance to each station that is frequented by non-residents will have a separate escalator with a fare card entrance machine at the top. This would be their entrance to the station, and once they went down the escalator, there would be a barricade that takes them to the station and circumvents the other farecard entrance machines, which will only accept resident SmartTrips.

At some stations, the non-resident entrance would lead them down a separate escalator, diverting tourists from residents, and generally making everybody’s lives easier.

We could also make people who take lots of luggage and big things like bicycles take the tourist entrance, charging residents who do this slightly more for using this gate to account for the fact that they are occupying more space on trains.

Anyways, this is just an idea of mine, but I wanted to share it.

The Big Cheese is by far one of DC’s best food trucks, and has one of the coolest logos of all foodtrucks throughout the world.

Apparently today some building owner called the DC cops on the Big Cheese:

Haters indeed. Dont’ mess with the Big Cheese. When you mess with the Big Cheese, you get the Big Angry Cheese, my rendition of which is below:

FamousDC has their awesome rules for tourists. Similarly, I’ve come up with some rules for navigating the Capitol.

The Congressional office buildings can be a confusing place, even for people who have worked there for years. Rayburn in particular is a maze. However, it can get aggravating trying to go to your next meeting, to lunch, or back to your office on busy days when people throw common sense aside.

The bicycle lobbyists are on the hill today, and they navigate the halls like they do the roads: erratically and without concern for others. Physically running into three of them today inspired this post.

My rules:

1. Treat your body like you’re driving a car, and things will be OK. Walk on the right side of the road.
2. Don’t turn around constantly to talk to people in your group, only talk to the person next to you.
3. If you get lost, pull over and off the road. Do not congregate in the middle of the hallway.
4. Don’t cut corners the wrong way. Going against the grain just makes for awkward run-ins (literally) with strangers, police officers, or Members of Congress. Turn the right way.
5. Don’t block doorways.
6. Leave space on elevators, since elevator space is scarce. Don’t be a hog.
7. Similarly, don’t ride Member-Only or Staff-Only elevators if you’re neither.
8. On escalators, stand right walk left — unless the elevator is a single lane. Then you always walk.

Um, yes these union laborers should pay into their freaking pension. Metro should phase out its pension and provide a 401(k) like normal places.

You can take this survey until 5pm, EDT today.

A colleague informed me that the Washington Post beat me to the punch in promoting the idea of a corporate-sponsored WMATA map. I’m told they do this in Dubai. I came up with this idea on Monday.

I had just made some good progress, too, on my map. Darn. Still, I’ll finish it. Please leave any good station names in the facebook comment section below.

Here’s what I have so far (click to expand).

The other day when I got on Metro at Union Station and was blessed with two douchers on the same train ride home!

First was this snotty looking high school kid who sat in the outer seat with a vacant window seat. He put his musical instrument and his bookbag in the aisle, not the vacant seat.

Verdict? DOUCHER

The next guy, fresh out of Jos. A. Bank hung his new wares on the handle. What did he do when the train filled up? Nothing.

Verdict? Less of a doucher than the preppy kid, but still a doucher.